My first lesson in public opinion happened in the first semester of my second year in the university.

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“Debby! Debby!! Have you seen it?” R asked trying hard to get my attention. The lesson had come with the word ‘Entitled. Defined simply as one having a right to certain benefits or privileges.

“Debbi! Are you listening to me at all?” R pressed. Where was I? Not in a lecture room filled with course-mates whom I barely associated with. Not seated beside R as the religious studies professor, went on and on about the death of the ‘Nigerian traditions and the advent of Christianity’. A topic which was of the least importance to me. So where then was I?

Lost in an episode of Sex Education I’d seen during the weekend. In it they’d excised the subject of bullying and I wondered what a bully would look like in a Nigerian school. That’s where I was when —

“Debby are you even listening to me? I asked if you’ve seen the anonymous messages cause it was posted last night on the group chat’’

‘’Am I in it?’’ I asked knowing the answer even before I queried. I’m always in it. Being vocal about women’s rights caused quite the uproar in our gender studies class so I knew the messages would be on the nasty side yet I feigned ignorance just so R could relay it to me once again. I wanted to see what her thoughts were on the names I’d been dubbed

Lesbian, man-hater and feminist was the usual tags but this time it was different. In addition I was dubbed ‘entitled’.

In the past people have called me spoilt because of how I looked, behaved or knowing me probably spoke to them but entitled was one that cut too deep. Entitled speaks to an ungrateful and dogged entity while in truth I’ve been told by close friends that I was neither. Yet I could not help but feel pain at the public’s opinion of me. Not realizing that they’d only done what we as in our basest as humans do in the blink of an eye. Without a moments thought as to the consequences thereafter. The butterfly effect they’ve termed it. Fate. Karma. All of that nonsense crammed in a singular act. Judgement.

To be honest I am somewhat entitled in ways because I’ve heard my own reactions to certain quizzes. You know the one. ‘Would you rather? Never Have I Ever’ . To which I would always ever rather than never because love from family and friends had made me hunger for more than what most were comfortable giving at no loss to themselves. I’d been given so much that now mediocre was not going to cut it.

‘’wont you say something to the haters?’’ R inquired once again. I understood where her mind was. A response that suited the situation was the right course but as I stared at the lecturer, I simply wanted the class to be over so I could eat a good plate of Garri and Afang soup.

So the question remains am I truly entitled or was the public’s opinion of me simply wrong. For this I’d have to live more in order to find the perfect answer to it.