Procrastination: The Big Bad Wolf
Fear, they say, is present at all stages of a man’s life. However, the question remains; how much of it did you let rule, and how much did you conquer?
Whatever the answer, fear and procrastination is the reason why progress is often stunted.
It was New Year’s Day and the fireworks were set. From my bedroom window, I could see the spurt of colors as they exploded across the night skies. I closed my eyes, saying a prayer for the gift of life before moving on to the matter of resolutions. I was turning 25 that October so this particular resolution was one I intended to keep. One of the said resolutions was in the coming year, I was going to write more. It didn’t matter if I babbled on paper, I was just going to write. Commit my thoughts to black and white and maybe get over the problem of sharing my words.
Prior to that day, I knew it was the fear of judgement that kept my talent relegated to the dark recess of mind. It was the fear of hate and disgust that made my work remain in private journals and notebooks. I was going to do it, I told myself, all pumped up from my motivational speech. However, 4 weeks into the New Year, I still hadn’t posted a word.
It was simply a matter of time. The year was young I said, closing my journal for the tenth time that day. I shouldn’t push myself, rather I should ease into the rhythm of it all. Let the words come to me letter after letter, and finally it will all come together for good.
However, 2 months later, I still had not posted a word after the thousands I’d written. That’s when I knew I needed more than just psychological fortitude. I needed Jesus.
You know, as one reads inspirational quotes about writings and insecurities as a writer, you begin to think;
“They don’t understand how it is for me. They’re not me so it doesn’t quite work that way”.
“I need not push myself but I’ll slowly slide into the routine of writing and owning a blog”.
However, the truth as it dawned on me was, I’ll only keep postponing my emergence because I believed I was in a unique position. Not realizing that the main reason why other writers posted those words was because they have been in my shoes.
Young. Inspired. Fearful.
Having that breakthrough, I set about planning how the blog would work. Was I going to be an anonymous writer or was I going to show a little bit of me or even a whole lot of me? Whatever the answer, I knew one thing for sure, I had a lot of things to say and I was going to say them even if no one listened. Which is why 4 months later, on the 22nd day of June, I made my first post. Releasing the ‘Dear Reader’ series. A personal memoir about what it is like growing up with wild imaginations. I hope you get to read it.
Ps..
I hope this finds you, young writer. You may not have the audience but you do have a voice, and a platform. Make use of it. Start small. Start strong. Start weak. It doesn’t really matter, all that does is that you stop hesitating and start. And once you do, never stop.
